Anderson Cooper October 2009 transcript

Claudi - I must apologize. A wise man told me recently that like my mother, I can be hardest on those close to me. I realize that UNlike her, I must be accountable for the feelings I might hurt in being a direct and abrasive "mother" figure. I've come to feel an afinity for you and I sincerely hoped that this case might bring you closer to some positive realization in your life. Maybe it has and it's not for me to say what that is. I don't really know you, but I know you are a loving, caring person. Sorry for being so "blunt". Sincerely I am.

I dont know what to think. I am a fan of Eminem. That doesnt mean I want to get smacked around by a man just because he says he smacks "kim" around. That doesn't mean I want to take a dose of green and purple pills because he has a song about it. Horrorcore is a dark place that is "underground". Im not a follower of it. I dont hate it, I dont love it. I havent even listened to much of it. It is a form of expression, like poetry. I have had a rough childhood with a runaway dad (one example) and I listen to others pain with empathy. It may not be constructed with a pretty bow but it is full of pain and suffering nonetheless, something I can relate to. I am more concerned that it has a link to Satanism. I dont think it is fair to categorize it in that way. MOST of it, unholy apostles and such gives it that appearance. I admit, if Sam hadnt done what he did (First I would have never heard of him)...I could listen to his song and laugh. His placement of some words just forced in there. I clearly think he was trying to impress someone with his delve in it (his songs) and release some inner pain and torment. (Self therapy) I think it is distasteful to "rap" about molesting babies and I never had the point of view Claudi put it in (dealing with being molested). Thanks for that, I couldnt even think of a reason why someone would say something like that. In all- I think its a form of entertainment-just simply that. The same way someone could listen to Ice Cubes cop killer and not want to kill a cop. I hope I am making sense, not sure if I am. You can be mad about getting a ticket, etc. and laugh at this song-even though it is NOT funny.
I am a songwriter. I could say some horrid things in a song, but in the end I would close with- "that was just my imagination, a hallucination. Im sorry I was obscene, I love you too much to be THAT mean".
I guess I choose to feed the angry wolf enough to keep him satisfied, and feed the other wolf to keep the angry one at bay.
I apprecaite all of the discussion here, THANKS TO ALL.
When it was court day for Sam, I was driving in my car and I had alot to think about it. I was being judgemental (I am admitting this fault to be honest- I try really really hard to not judge others) but my thoughts were.. something along the lines of- I wouldnt care much if he got the DP. The same way he didn't care much about the victims. I kind of hoped he would. That made me sad for myself.
Then I opened the forum and saw the news of the guilty plea. I thought if he wanted to die, he would have taken his own life already. I was getting so ansty with all of the mental evals. that I thought he was going to try and get some insanity defense, blame it on the music or SKR. If he wanted to die he would plead not guilty because I think he would have went down hard and got the DP. So I read the posts about how Sam never felt a real love. I believe that. How Debra was so much against the DP, HOW important it was to her and how passionate she was about it. I, myself, was worried about future music from Sam profiting off of his crime. All of these opinions and thoughts and feelings put together give me peace about the outcome. I doubt he will have music in the future and hope that is the case. Im glad Debras voice was heard even after it was silenced. Im glad the Wells didnt have to relive the nightmare again.
Im glad that Sam, just admitted he was mad because of the texts. That he didnt try to say he was insane, that he admitted he knew what he was doing and that he knows it was wrong. I dont think he has any remorse and thats a sad conclusion. Maybe he will? I have to look at it the same way I view abortion. (To each their own-I dont mean to offend) When I was asked to have an abortion, the thought never crossed my mind. My instincts said.."Hey! You could be taking away the cure for cancer. Your child could be the doctor that will save so many". And, of course, Maybe not. But I didnt feel it was for ME to decide. If God didnt want this child in the world then it would result in a miscarry, right? Im sure Sam has a purpose, as we all do. Even if its to be an example of what following through on evil deeds will get you. "horrorcore gone bad".

Lots of material in that last post. Thanks for sharing. I think this forum is kind of theraputic in a way. I know it is for me. In talking out ideas I am forced to critically analyze my own thoughts more. You seem to have good perspective on the case.

Are any of yours songs published? On line anywhere? I'm interested.

Being judgmental is not a fault. We all make judgements every day. What Sam did was WRONG. I am comfortable with that judgment. I am not sure that Sam has a purpose. It would be nice to think there was some greater good / higher purpose to all of this but.. I just don't.

Life can be hard and confusing. We often cannot change the circumstances we find ourselve in.
We can only change our response to those circumstances. Each of us is the author of our own story. Each day is a chance to write a new page. What are we going to write today?

I agree Scott, theraputic for me as well. And yes, others contributions have shaped mine as well. Im thankful for the invitation here and for the kind folks to discuss it with. Quite a crowd here, open minded, polite and debatable. Thanks again.
At this time, my music isnt available, maybe someday...thanks for your interest and I will keep you posted on the progress. I stood behind a microphone in front of about 75 people just last week for the first time, which is a good start. It was extremely hard for me, but I didnt die lol. I have poor mans copyrights (where you mail it to yourself) I will type out something sometime.


"Life can be hard and confusing. We often cannot change the circumstances we find ourselve in.
We can only change our response to those circumstances. Each of us is the author of our own story. Each day is a chance to write a new page. What are we going to write today?" Beautifully said!

It can be hard to share the things we create. The greater our own personal investment in it the harder it is to share. It is a risk. Good for you getting up and singing. Like many things, the more you do it, the easier it will get.

oh ziggy,there's no need for you to apologize,believe me your opinion never offended me,on the contrary,it's totally logical.I'm confused by the point I'm trying to make myself,lol,I like how love ends war put it,maybe it's feeding the angry wolf to keep him at bay?

OK maybe, but to me that instantly gave me of a vision of a heroin addict stealing and prostituting to shoot up just enough to avoid being sick...feeding it just enough to keep that wolf at bay.

Let the bad wolf starve. Feeding him does not keep him at bay. It keeps him strong.

Also reminds me of the old saying the devil you know is easier to deal with than the devil you don't know. You feed the wolf you are more comfortable with even if he's bad because he's the devil you know. Change is the number one stressor and cause of fear in people. But change is awesome - things that are difficult to achieve give you self esteem - conquering your REAL fear is what will bring you to delight in yourself and your real fear is what??? I don't know but you are more afraid of the light than the dark so tell me, what is it?

staring directly at a bright lightsource will burn and blind you.
darkness is even scientifically not really dark.
the the visible light is absorbed but it's still bright.
the light is still there just not visible and not harsh enough to hurt you.

claudicici wrote:I can only talk about my experience which was in germany but I was friends with some Punk kids and I liked Punk but these kids were really political.They took anarchy serious.They took over houses and spray painted "we don't want just want cake we want the whole fucking bakery" They vandalized cop cars.
Us metal kids were just working class ,low income kids dealing with our own situation.we were not political at all,we weren't thinking about the whole picture.

I'm asking because I don't know.

What was the political agdenda of the 80's era European punk scene? Was it a class struggle thing? Poor kids rejecting the system that was controlled by others? Us vs. them sort of thing.

Was there some specific policy or event that was unpopular at the time? Any political party in particular they were against?

What do you think about class struggle here vs. Europe? Are there the same sorts of issues?

claudicici wrote:staring directly at a bright lightsource will burn and blind you.
darkness is even scientifically not really dark.
the the visible light is absorbed but it's still bright.
the light is still there just not visible and not harsh enough to hurt you.

You've given a "literal" reason for not staring at the sun or a certain wavelength of laser but nothing about the reason you would be more uncomfortable with light in the sense of a symbol of good, pure, beautiful, eternal, peaceful, loving etc. as opposed to gore, anger, hate, humiliation, degradation, mutilation, decay, necrophilia that include things like horror core and mock hangings etc. That sidestep doesn't really explain anything. I really want to know!

@ Scott 80's punk was all about the cold war.We literally had all the nuclear weapons pointed at us.80's punk was the extreme left wing ,they also had it out with the skin heads all the time.
@ ziggy "light" does not symplize good,beautiful,pure etc to me .It symbolizes fake and deceit.
gore,anger,hate "darkness" symbolizes to me what that fake deceitful light is trying to hide.It is still THERE no matter what and if you acknowledge it it becomes easier to deal with IMO.

do you think the 'light' that once symbolized good is where religious affiliations misrepresented the 'light' ?
the light is still there--that symbolizes goodness,,,it has been clouded and misused by those who were supposed to share the light...these ones are the fakes, false teachers,,,that abused the 'light' they were suppose to share with others...imo

[quote="claudicici@ ziggy "light" does not symplize good,beautiful,pure etc to me .It symbolizes fake and deceit.
gore,anger,hate "darkness" symbolizes to me what that fake deceitful light is trying to hide.It is still THERE no matter what and if you acknowledge it it becomes easier to deal with IMO.[/quote]


I assume you have encountered or are aware of people with purely dark intentions. Have you never encounted anyone with purely good intentions?

I think you are applying the faults of a flawed individual to the whole. If a priest is a child molestor it does not mean no church has value. It means the priest is a defective individual.

You don't have to find a lot of good to prove it exists just as you don't have to find a lot of evil to prove the same.

I heard someone once in a conversation about pyschics say "it is only necessary to find one white crow to disprove the notion that all crows are black." His point was the fact that every psychic is not legitimate does not mean that no one has a legitimate psychic ability. If one person does then it demonstrates that it is possible.

I would encourage you to look for that white crow. There is good out there without fake and deceit.

there is good out there without fake and deceit

do you think the 'light' that once symbolized good is where religious affiliations misrepresented the 'light' ?
yes,maunsapt I totally agree with that.

Scott,I don't believe at all that there are people with just bad or just good intentions.As a matter of fact I believe every individual has the potential of doing incredibly good or bad given the right or wrong circumstances.I don't believe anyone is better or worse than anyone else.
In the case of the priest child molesters I think it's the church that harbours and promotes things like pedophilia,homophobia and greed.I personally don't see much value in any church but I know a lot of people do.

claudicici wrote:do you think the 'light' that once symbolized good is where religious affiliations misrepresented the 'light' ?
yes,maunsapt I totally agree with that.

Scott,I don't believe at all that there are people with just bad or just good intentions.As a matter of fact I believe every individual has the potential of doing incredibly good or bad given the right or wrong circumstances.I don't believe anyone is better or worse than anyone else.
In the case of the priest child molesters I think it's the church that harbours and promotes things like pedophilia,homophobia and greed.I personally don't see much value in any church but I know a lot of people do.

I think most people are on a bell curve. Some are really bad, some are really good, most are somwhere in between. On any given day people can fall in a different place on the good / bad scale given circumstances.

Some places on the extreme ends of the scale are reserved for the few that are more one than the other. NO set of circumstances makes a normal person do what Sam did for example. Some people are better or worse than others.

Not trying to convert you to any church. Just suggesting that there is genuine good in the world.