Advice on men

Paximus wrote:

tapu wrote:I am definitely starting to feel as though anarchy is not the way for me.

If you would like to point out said anarchy I would be glad to try and fix it but I am not seeing it. All I see is a couple of people trying very hard to make the forum as nice as possible while trying to make everyone happy, an impossible task at which said people are failing miserably at.

What Ms. Taps means is......

"Be careful what you wish for........" or "No good deed goes unpunished."

Mags wrote:

Paximus wrote:

tapu wrote:I am definitely starting to feel as though anarchy is not the way for me.

If you would like to point out said anarchy I would be glad to try and fix it but I am not seeing it. All I see is a couple of people trying very hard to make the forum as nice as possible while trying to make everyone happy, an impossible task at which said people are failing miserably at.

What Ms. Taps means is......

"Be careful what you wish for........" or "No good deed goes unpunished."

Ok, just trying to make everyone happy thats all we care about here. Personally I have no idea how the whole pot thing started and I regret that I didnt get a handle on it earlier since we have now lost a member over it but we made a pact when we started this place that we were not going to censor the discussion and that we would allow off topic discussion in threads, so there ya have it. I only contributed to that part of the discussion because I didnt like seeing my friends, who I know to be good people, insulted.

Mags wrote:

dabobkat wrote:Well maybe the only way to understand men is to smoke some dope and shoot a gun

Imma start callin' you Backwards Bob!

Sig & I, both women, are anti-dope. Pax & Dang, both men, are anti-gunish,




(Scratchy is back! Thanks!!!!!!)

For the record, I'm not anti-gun. I have owned and fired weapons. I have fired machine guns and enjoyed it. Also a grenade launcher.

I used to design infantry training systems for the U.S. Army.

However I am in general against killing people unless there is no other alternative and I think that too often we stop looking for alternatives very much too soon. Also, as I have mentioned, I've been involved with building things that killed people. I take that responsibility very very seriously. Not everyone does IMO.

As far as the drop in violent crime...

There are a number of people that like to decry various problems of society, i.e. gay marriage, declining moral values, increasing rudeness, etc. They say that the world is worse than it used to be, and that it is getting progressively worse. I don;t agree. The problem is that this assumes we all agree on the metric in question. I don't agree that lack of manners is the issue to focus on at all, and I am suggesting that maybe we should consider the fact that whatever is wrong with our society, the reality is that fewer and fewer people are feeling the need to off each other. This is good news don't you think?

Paximus wrote:

Mags wrote:

Paximus wrote:

tapu wrote:I am definitely starting to feel as though anarchy is not the way for me.

If you would like to point out said anarchy I would be glad to try and fix it but I am not seeing it. All I see is a couple of people trying very hard to make the forum as nice as possible while trying to make everyone happy, an impossible task at which said people are failing miserably at.

What Ms. Taps means is......

"Be careful what you wish for........" or "No good deed goes unpunished."

Ok, just trying to make everyone happy thats all we care about here. Personally I have no idea how the whole pot thing started and I regret that I didnt get a handle on it earlier since we have now lost a member over it but we made a pact when we started this place that we were not going to censor the discussion and that we would allow off topic discussion in threads, so there ya have it. I only contributed to that part of the discussion because I didnt like seeing my friends, who I know to be good people, insulted.

I really don't see the big deal in all of this. I think we have gone out of our way to make it possible for EVERYONE to all have a place to hang out and express their opinions. It's not like we're asking anything in return except a little respect. Everything that everyone has requested I have tried to give to them. I want everyone to find something that they are interested in here. Pax and I are trying to make all of this work, but it seems to be an impossible task.

Paximus wrote:

tapu wrote:I am definitely starting to feel as though anarchy is not the way for me.

If you would like to point out said anarchy I would be glad to try and fix it but I am not seeing it. All I see is a couple of people trying very hard to make the forum as nice as possible while trying to make everyone happy, an impossible task at which said people are failing miserably at.

Not at all
Just need people to let you get your feet wet and see how things flow

Mags wrote:

dabobkat wrote:Well maybe the only way to understand men is to smoke some dope and shoot a gun

Imma start callin' you Backwards Bob!

Sig & I, both women, are anti-dope. Pax & Dang, both men, are anti-gunish,




(Scratchy is back! Thanks!!!!!!)

Just as long as you call me

Worth keeping a sense of humor about it H. You guys are doing great. Hang tight. IMO anyhow...

dangrsmind wrote:Worth keeping a sense of humor about it H. You guys are doing great. Hang tight. IMO anyhow...

I agree
People should just chill

No one is ever going to make everyone happy, it will never happen

My suggestion, for what it is worth is set up the site just as you wanted, make yourself happy. If others have an issue they can take it up with you both one on one. If people can’t deal with the “Only rule is no rules” then they don’t have to be here. It is simple as that. I hate to see people leave but that is their choice.

I’m having fun; you should too and let things go as they go.

Remember, this is your backyard we are playing in. If we don’t like the sandbox or swing set we can go play somewhere else.

Thanks DM, I like the place and have no complaints whatsoever, like I told Heroine we now have a pretty sweet and well organized place to discuss our murder case which is what we all wanted, the rest of this forum is gravy. Youve done a great job handling our Farmville work and that is greatly appreciated, I want to get back to that discussion but I have been trying to get the rest of the forum kick started for those who arent here for the case so they can enjoy themselves also.


Additionally, you make a great point about declining morals, I grew up in a very small town in upstate NY where there was no crime and everyone was very polite and well mannered and you left your doors unlocked at night, so I too sometimes fall in to the trap of pissing and moaning about how bad things are now, it is good when someone like you reminds me that that isnt really the case and is instead the result of my own flawed perception about things.

The fact is people have become more tolerant and open-minded and less people are killing eachother than at any time in history, and I pointed out earlier, this in the face of the fact that we are also exposed to more violent media now than at any time in history. So more violent media, music, movies and TeeVee shows, yet there is less crime, it goes against everything we think about the world around us but the facts are the facts and the statistics do not lie.

....it's only this thread where people seem tense....i heard of some herbs that might help you chill
j/k

dabobkat wrote:

dangrsmind wrote:Worth keeping a sense of humor about it H. You guys are doing great. Hang tight. IMO anyhow...

I agree
People should just chill

No one is ever going to make everyone happy, it will never happen

My suggestion, for what it is worth is set up the site just as you wanted, make yourself happy. If others have an issue they can take it up with you both one on one. If people can’t deal with the “Only rule is no rules” then they don’t have to be here. It is simple as that. I hate to see people leave but that is their choice.

I’m having fun; you should too and let things go as they go.

Remember, this is your backyard we are playing in. If we don’t like the sandbox or swing set we can go play somewhere else.

I guess my problem has always been that I believe in people, I cant be cynical, its not my nature therefore I believe that given the chance people will do the right thing MOST of the time. If we were teenagers it would be different but we are all adults and I see no reason why adults need to be treated like children, if you cant moderate yourself, as an adult, then a forum like this probably isnt the best place for you. I dont see it as anarchy I see it as giving people a chance to do the right thing.

claudicici wrote:....it's only this thread where people seem tense....i heard of some herbs that might help you chill
j/k

We need more of you around here, you always had that nice peaceful easy feeling about you.

That Emoticon is DM at one of his SF raves.

Paximus wrote:

dabobkat wrote:

dangrsmind wrote:Worth keeping a sense of humor about it H. You guys are doing great. Hang tight. IMO anyhow...

I agree
People should just chill

No one is ever going to make everyone happy, it will never happen

My suggestion, for what it is worth is set up the site just as you wanted, make yourself happy. If others have an issue they can take it up with you both one on one. If people can’t deal with the “Only rule is no rules” then they don’t have to be here. It is simple as that. I hate to see people leave but that is their choice.

I’m having fun; you should too and let things go as they go.

Remember, this is your backyard we are playing in. If we don’t like the sandbox or swing set we can go play somewhere else.

I guess my problem has always been that I believe in people, I cant be cynical, its not my nature therefore I believe that given the chance people will do the right thing MOST of the time. If we were teenagers it would be different but we are all adults and I see no reason why adults need to be treated like children, if you cant moderate yourself, as an adult, then a forum like this probably isnt the best place for you. I dont see it as anarchy I see it as giving people a chance to do the right thing.

This is what I'm saying

Paximus wrote:Ok, just trying to make everyone happy thats all we care about here. Personally I have no idea how the whole pot thing started and I regret that I didnt get a handle on it earlier since we have now lost a member over it but we made a pact when we started this place that we were not going to censor the discussion and that we would allow off topic discussion in threads, so there ya have it. I only contributed to that part of the discussion because I didnt like seeing my friends, who I know to be good people, insulted.

Insulted? Opinions were stated, nothing more. Those same opinions were not directed at any one person. They were general opinions, by both Sig and I, except for when giving specific examples of people we know in real life. We cannot have discussions without opinions.

Perception does not define intent.

Paximus wrote:

claudicici wrote:....it's only this thread where people seem tense....i heard of some herbs that might help you chill
j/k

We need more of you around here, you always had that nice peaceful easy feeling about you.

That Emoticon is DM at one of his SF raves.

Honestly I did try to keep everyone in mind when adding smilies. Here's one for Ziggy.... here's opne for DM , heres one for tapu, , see I am trying to make this a happy place!

dangrsmind wrote:

For the record, I'm not anti-gun.

sigh... I said "ish." in relation to your one post in this thread, not your whole pov in life.

There are a number of people that like to decry various problems of society, i.e. gay marriage, declining moral values, increasing rudeness, etc. They say that the world is worse than it used to be, and that it is getting progressively worse. I don;t agree. The problem is that this assumes we all agree on the metric in question. I don't agree that lack of manners is the issue to focus on at all, and I am suggesting that maybe we should consider the fact that whatever is wrong with our society, the reality is that fewer and fewer people are feeling the need to off each other. This is good news don't you think?

At the price of an apathic and generally rude society? No, not really great news.

I honestly don't know why you're all so focused on the violent crime rate as the be-all end-all of determining our progress as a society.

Oops

so, I haven't taken the time to read the 10 PAGE THREAD, but I must say I am completely flabbergasted at how a thread re: advice on men became a discussion on marijauna and guns.

earthenjug wrote:so, I haven't taken the time to read the 10 PAGE THREAD, but I must say I am completely flabbergasted at how a thread re: advice on men became a discussion on marijauna and guns.

LOL youre not alone, I have no idea how that happened either but it did and really took on a life of its own for the last few days resulting in ladysig getting upset and leaving us, which saddened me a lot because I really hate to lose people when we are just getting started, I am hoping some of you can talk to her and have her contact me so I can speak with her myself and see what I can do to broker a compromise so she can come back and be with all her couch friends and enjoy he forum we all worked so hard to make for her and for all of you. Please let her know she is welcome here and we miss her presence.

Mags wrote:

dangrsmind wrote:

For the record, I'm not anti-gun.

sigh... I said "ish." in relation to your one post in this thread, not your whole pov in life.

There are a number of people that like to decry various problems of society, i.e. gay marriage, declining moral values, increasing rudeness, etc. They say that the world is worse than it used to be, and that it is getting progressively worse. I don;t agree. The problem is that this assumes we all agree on the metric in question. I don't agree that lack of manners is the issue to focus on at all, and I am suggesting that maybe we should consider the fact that whatever is wrong with our society, the reality is that fewer and fewer people are feeling the need to off each other. This is good news don't you think?

At the price of an apathic and generally rude society? No, not really great news.

I honestly don't know why you're all so focused on the violent crime rate as the be-all end-all of determining our progress as a society.

Here is the thing, is society really becoming more and more rude or are we just noticing things tha have always been because of our ability now in the age of information to reach out further to our fellow humans with less restraint and barriers between us? Also on the internet people hide behind computers so they tend to be less restrained in what they say which contributes to what some may see as a more rude society but in fact its always been that way we just didnt have the ability to reach so many different people in the past and have so many different and somewhat controversial discussions.

Also, DM makes a good point, voilent crime is indeed way down, even though we are exposed to more violent media than any time before so how to do you explain that. If less and less people are killing eachother and committing violent crimes against eachother I would say this is a positive development. In all honesty I am always surprised everyday, the more people I talk to on these forums, just how intelligent and respectful the average person can be WHEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY to do so. So I dont know that I agree entirely, upon second look, that things are getting worse, they may be getting better. But thats only for people, the government is another story, I dont see any positive trends in politics that make me warm and fuzzy, I see a police state in the making since 9-11 and that makes me nervous. They are using the threat of terrorism and the resulting fear in the people to create an environment where most of us are begging them to protect us even if it means less civil liberty and freedom. Not a good trend IMO.

Mags wrote:

Paximus wrote:
I assume you mean, by this statement, that the younger generation are all pretty dumb and ignorant and I can see why one might think that but the statistics indicate otherwise. Kids today are a lot smarter and more creative than any generation that came before them.


Its just like anything else, people think because we have more violent images on TV and in movies and more violent music that crime is increasing because of that, but again, thats a testament to the power of flawed perception because in fact crime is down even though we are now subject to more violent media than ever before.


So, as always, and this probably belongs in the 'things ive learned in life' thread, things are never quite what they seem to be.

You assume incorrectly.

I am talking about a very large segment of the population that has entitlement issues. I've also seen, through the 25 years I've worked directly with the public, a steady decrease over the last ten, of basic manners. Only the last few have been in fast food service, but that really drives it home.

Paximus wrote:

earthenjug wrote:so, I haven't taken the time to read the 10 PAGE THREAD, but I must say I am completely flabbergasted at how a thread re: advice on men became a discussion on marijauna and guns.

LOL youre not alone, I have no idea how that happened either but it did and really took on a life of its own for the last few days resulting in ladysig getting upset and leaving us, which saddened me a lot because I really hate to lose people when we are just getting started, I am hoping some of you can talk to her and have her contact me so I can speak with her myself and see what I can do to broker a compromise so she can come back and be with all her couch friends and enjoy he forum we all worked so hard to make for her and for all of you. Please let her know she is welcome here and we miss her presence.

Tif was fooling around and asked me to marry her, I told her to move to Ca, she said since we have legal pot she would and it started for there

dabobkat wrote: Tif was fooling around and asked me to marry her, I told her to move to Ca, she said since we have legal pot she would and it started for there

thanks for the explana!
WAM! I thought you were gonna wait for me to convince Mr. EJ to move to Cali so I could live in sin with you and we could all get stoned!

earthenjug wrote:

dabobkat wrote: Tif was fooling around and asked me to marry her, I told her to move to Ca, she said since we have legal pot she would and it started for there

thanks for the explana!
WAM! I thought you were gonna wait for me to convince Mr. EJ to move to Cali so I could live in sin with you and we could all get stoned!

Works for me but I don't do the dishes and I won't run a vacuum so that's up to one of you

Paximus wrote:


Ok, just trying to make everyone happy thats all we care about here. Personally I have no idea how the whole pot thing started and I regret that I didnt get a handle on it earlier since we have now lost a member over it but we made a pact when we started this place that we were not going to censor the discussion and that we would allow off topic discussion in threads, so there ya have it. I only contributed to that part of the discussion because I didnt like seeing my friends, who I know to be good people, insulted.

I personaly like when threads go in different directions.

One of the things I liked about the couch was that aspect. To me it's like a group of friends getting together and just talking, everything goes. Just because we start off all talking about the price of cheese at the store doesn't mean we have to stay on that topic. Things comes up, we follow. That's why I like that type of foum, it's not "theme" specific...it's not just a political site, a rock star site etc, it is what it is.